Tag Archives: Jay-Z

6 People Who Might Be Satan (According to the Internet)

Nobody enjoys a good internet rabbit hole like myself.  It’s generally common for me to climb into bed around sunrise after a hard night’s work of investigative journalism, with topics ranging from Kobe Bryant’s rap career to Martin Bashir being a dick to Michael Jackson to the recent death of Michael Hastings.  One hole that is particularly gaping is the growing faction of of theorists who believe there’s some demonic shit going down right in front of our faces.  To understand how to connect these (mostly fictitious) reference points, one should be familiar with the term “Illuminati”.  Well, at least vaguely familiar.  For the sake of saving you from that rabbit hole (just dont, it’s not even an especially fun one), we’ll give you this simple translation: Illuminati = Satan.  And because there are various cross sections of satanism, let’s all just picture the familiar looking dude with the horns.

If it wasn’t made abundantly clear by that opening paragraph, I do not subscribe to such beliefs.  I will say, however,  that it makes for some positively enjoyable reading material.  Here’s the tip of the iceberg on my top 6 (because, of course).

1. Lebron James

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NEW Justin Timberlake: Suit & Tie (Feat. Jay-Z)

Just a quick recap: On January 9th, JT tweeted this:

JT playing headgames

And as planned, so began the speculation life cycle.  We read everything from the truth (new single with Jay-Z and Timbaland) to the modified truth (with Beyonce), to the huh? (20 track album!).  When Thursday came, we got a YouTube video….and a countdown.

Thanx bro.

The countdown ended Sunday, the 13th at Midnight.  You’d think with these times (5:03AM, 9:01AM, Midnight PST…) that the lovable Timberlake was pushing the envelope on vanity a bit here.  When the witching hour struck I was expecting a riddle or something, but fuck me, we got a new track!  An album announcement too, with a scheduled drop of…sometime this year?(THANX BRO)

Because fuck congruence.

Stream the “Suit & Tie” on Justin Timberlake’s website here

Timbaland insists on leading this track off with a chopped and screwed sounding section that feels uncomfortable for JT, especially for his first new solo material in 6 years.  It’s interesting in it’s own right, but while my girlfriend and I simultaneously listened to it on our separate headphones, we gave each other “This is it?” glances for the first :45.  From there the beat drops and we hear “Wait a minute, you ready JT?”  As if you needed to ask.  I’m wondering if they edited out the part where he responds “Yes, lets do this shit already.”  What follows is a shimmering disco beat that feels as dapper as those Heineken commercials.   The track gets the purp injection again for Jay-Z’s verse, which is troubling because Jay could have handled the same terrain as JT.  At the end of the day, it’s clunky, but there’s definitely something worth taking to the bank.  And besides, 19 more tracks coming, right?

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