Current Status: Inactive Since November 11, 2012
Description: The police officer that’s not very good at pretending he’s not a police officer. He very subtly tries to get you to help him make a bust.
Current Status: Inactive Since November 1, 2012
Description: Tilda Swinton if she were constantly blown out of her mind on LSD maybe? I’m not exactly sure, but it’s so strange that it’s brilliant.
Current Status: Inactive Since December 23, 2011
Description: Tweets from Matt Damon’s point of view in the Movie “We Bought a Zoo”. This account only lasted 16 days, but this dude goes full on insane story mode towards the end when he unleashes an attack on Ben Affleck’s aquarium and (SPOILER ALERT) everyone dies. The whole thing is absolutely amazing. You are encouraged to start from the beginning and scroll through.
Current Status: Suspended
Description: Bill Nye the Science Guy as if he was a hood ass black stoner bro. Unfortunately this account got suspended, but the screenshots of his tweets will live on through the magic of the internet.
Description: Direct from the Twitter bio: “Steadfast believers that there is something interesting to say about everything.” Poking fun at the sports/pop culture blog Grantland and their insistence on sometimes posting really stupid shit. Some of these tweets are so good that I wouldn’t mind reading the actual article.
Description: Sometimes Mel Gibson just gets really mad and says really mean things about women and Jews if you don’t blow him enough.
Description: Direct from the Twitter bio: “Combining the pop stylings of Justin Bieber with the existential wisdom of philosopher Martin Buber.” Bravo, internet. Bravo. I don’t know what to say. This is marvelous.
Description: Credit to Drew Greaves for finding this gem awhile back. Unfortunately nobody else has decided to follow him even though I have hashed multiple tags on Fridays for people to do so.
From what I have gathered over the last 6 months or so, Jeff lives in Arizona and is greatly involved in trying to save horses or some shit. So much so that literally all he does is tweet at celebrities and try to get them to follow him so he can talk to them about funding his horse thing. Seriously, this is all he has done since July, 2009. Incredible persistence.
Since the start of the new year, Jeff has tried to enlist the help of celebrities such as Steve Case (Co-Founder of AOL), Brad Paisley, Rupert Murdoch, Tom Cruise, Jay Leno, Taylor Swift, Richard Branson (and his son Sam), Mitt Romney, and Carrie Underwood. This is literally all he has done on Twitter for 2 1/2 years.
Give this bro a follow and help him save his fucking horses, guys.